


Age

by AlphaKantSpell



Category: Psych
Genre: Age Difference, Doubt, M/M, mid life crisis, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:37:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaKantSpell/pseuds/AlphaKantSpell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the most part, the subject was a big ‘No No’ between the pair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Age

For the most part, that the subject was a big ‘No No’ between the pair.  Shawn reframed from calling him old man and Carlton didn’t call him kiddo.  Although on the late side of mid-thirties, Shawn was a fourteen year-old at heart and Lassiter was a middle aged Civil War veteran who’d been frozen in time, then resurrected to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting land.  Their differences in maturity were fine until Carlton noted physically they were a decade apart. 

            Carlton didn’t think much of it at first because he was used to been seen as older.  Premature salt-and-pepper became a reality for him while he was still in college.  All throughout his life people observed that he bore and old soul and he himself felt dated for another era.  Shawn never commented on the elephant in the room but most everyone else was keen to tell Carlton that Shawn was too young for him.  Henry left subtle hints as how amazed he was that Shawn was with an older man and even Juliet asked what it was like being in a relationship with someone so much younger.  To his dismay a witness he interviewed asked if 'his Psychic kid brother' was available to date. 

Carlton never imagined he would be a cradle robber.  He felt like a fish being gutted, horrified as his unknown fears were sliced open and pulled into sunlight.  Nine years was a long time between lovers.    

Whenever they got intimate after that realization, Carlton was assaulted with the terrible knowledge that his childhood was before Shawn was born.  Worse, while he was a teenager kissing behind the gym Shawn was in diapers.  It was enough of a turn off that Carlton pulled the “I have a stake-out” card even though Shawn knew perfectly well Carlton wasn’t scheduled for one.

Slipping into the apartment later, Carlton lay at the fringes of the bed, so far away from Shawn he might as well have been in another country.  Sleep drunk and mumbling, Shawn tangled Carlton into a messy hug with a sloppy kiss.  Anxiety skidded across his skin like jellyfish stings.  Carlton tried to slip away but Shawn clung and nestled against his chest hair.  He felt like a large and very old teddy bear, picked up at a yard sale and given to a toddler.  Pulling away in earnest, he sat on the side of the bed with his face in his palms.

And here he thought the breakup with Veronica was a low point. 

“ ‘sup Lassie?  Come back, ‘s cold,” Shawn yawned into the heel of his palm. 

In the dark, Carlton could pretend that Shawn wasn’t as young as he looked or acted.  He could pretend Shawn’s hair was thinning even though it wasn’t and he could pretend to see wrinkles where there weren’t any.  Although his imagination wasn’t strong enough to imagine himself younger, he could picture an older Shawn that needed to see the doctor as often as Carlton did.  In his imagination, Shawn wouldn’t get bored or revolted with Carlton’s aging body or the fact he looked more and more like his Father every day.  Carlton could pretend that he wouldn't end up alone in a nursing home while Shawn was still gallivanting around, living up his life and youth.

He didn’t want to be alone.  Not now, not again.  Was that too much to ask for?  Carlton sacrificed so much in his life; shouldn’t he be allowed this one happiness?  Shawn had the attention span of a three year-old.  How long did he have left before the man detached from him for a younger model?

“Go back to sleep,” he answered Shawn.  He tried to drain emotion from the request but somehow his lips chocked around the sorrow weighing on his heart.  Although thoroughly tired, Shawn keened in on its track as well as any bloodhound. 

“Lassie~ter,” he hummed and rolled so he was facing Carlton’s back.  Inching forward Shawn wrapped his arms around Carlton’s clothed back and snuck a hand under his shirt. 

“Spencer, don’t.” 

Two words had never been more like a slap.  Shawn was pretty sure they echoed in the small bedroom and he sat upright without hint of being dead asleep moments before.  He glared and tugged Carlton’s shoulder around so they were face to face.

“Is this about what this chick said?” Carlton coughed up an unconvincing no.  Huffing, Shawn moved to sit beside him on an equal plane.  “It was just one girl.  Who cares if she didn’t get we’re together.  Besides we’re supposed to be on the DL, right?  She probably thought we were brothers because we’re both so smokin’ hot.”

Something in Carlton snapped. 

“No it’s not just _one girl_ – it’s freakin’ every one.  It’s Guster when he sneers as us and it’s the Chief when she says she and her husband were born two weeks apart.  It’s your Scooby Doo references and it’s all this junk mail I’m getting about life insurance and my retirement plan.” 

Carlton got up and started to pace.  Surging with empathy for caged tigers, he took a spare gun and started the process of disassembling it; anything to keep his hands busy.  Without fear for his own safety Shawn scoffed. 

“Gus sneers because he’s afraid I’m replacing him with you.  Vick admits that she and her husband are two weeks apart because she’s hinting that you are expected to buy two presents for their union-birthday-party.  My Scooby Doo references are awesome and even Juliet has to fill out life insurance – that’s what comes with the job of being a cop. 

Almost snarling, Carlton looked at Shawn, eyes furious.  He’s missed the point. 

“You weren’t even a possibility when I was learning to ride my bike.  When you were camping at Lake Tikihama I was having sex in my college dorm.  While you were in high school I was already a cop.  When I’m eligible for senior discounts you’ll be at your mid-life crisis.” 

Shawn threw the bed sheets off in a big display like a bull fighter.  It was enough to distract Carlton from the other man scooting into his space.  Lips met in a clumsy affair full of want and underlying tension as subtle as an earth quake.  Shawn moved away to suck at the edge of Carlton’s jaw as his fingers wove into silver-streaked hair. Carlton’s chest careened with a sound he wasn’t proud of but Shawn gobbled it up. 

“You think I care about any of that?” Shawn demanded, half on the other man’s lap.  His grip on Carlton’s scalp was almost painful.  Carlton’s heart bowed his ribcage with approval.  Being needed was all he ever wanted.  “In case you haven’t noticed I like old things.  I’d still feed my Furby if I wasn’t so scared of it trying to kill me.  And how many times have I re-watched the Goonies?  I don’t get bored of the things I like.”

Carlton’s breath hitched as Shawn pushed aside the abandoned gun to force Carlton on his back.  As a pretty lax and low-key guy, Shawn had always been fine with Carlton’s only experience being with women.  He allowed himself to be finessed and dominated because that was what Carlton wanted.  Tonight wasn’t about that.  Tonight was about need and more than anything Carlton needed to know he would never be unwanted.

Separated nearly ten years in age didn’t amount to much between lovers.            


End file.
